CALLING FIGURES FROM THE 90’S AND EARLY 2000’S “RETRO” PERFECLY LEGAL (ALLEGEDLY)!

BREAKING NEWS:

CALLING FIGURES FROM 90’S AND EARLY 2000’S “RETRO” PERFECTLY LEGAL (ALLEGEDLY)!

You might have seen it and felt a pinch in the heart when a brand like Hasbro calls toys from your childhood “retro”, but it turns out that it’s ok…

The ‘Retro’ craze started years ago, most likely with the Star Wars: The Vintage Collection from Hasbro, which had the same packaging and design as the original vintage figures from the 70’s and 80’s.

Nowadays, Hasbro is continuing to play with nostalgia, releasing figures from many of their lines (Marvel Legends, Star Wars: The Black Series, Transformers,…) with a packaging similar to the one we had when we were kids/younger.

But recently, Hasbro has been using for their Marvel Legends figures retro line, the same designs as the X-Men, Spider-man, Fantastic Four figures from Toy Biz from the mid to late 90’s. Even more shocking, they announced during a recent Fan First Friday that the next Star Wars: The Black Series “retro” figures would be based on the Star Wars Episode 1 figures which came out in 1999 and early 2000… Is this still considered “retro”?

ToyFarce asked several experts, and also found on wikipedia that: “Retro style is a style that is imitative or consciously derivative of lifestyles, trends, or art forms from the historical past, including in music, modes, fashions, or attitudes. In popular culture, the "nostalgia cycle" is typically for the two decades that are 20–30 years before the current one.”

So… yeah. We’re just getting old. It’s perfectly normal and legal to call something from 2 decades ago “retro”. If we are to believe this, Facebook, Youtube, the iPod, the iPhone, the Playstation 2 and the Playstation 3, the XBox and XBox 360, the Gamecube and the Wii should all become “retro” during this decade. Ouch?

More news at 11:00… Retro style!

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COULD THE SARLACC PIT BE THE NEXT HASLAB PROJECT?

It’s time to put our sunglasses on and go dune-surfing on Tatooine!

The folks at HasLab have been pretty quiet since the successful end of the Razor Crest crowdfunding project, so it is time for us to speculate on what’s coming next!

They have already released the gorgeous (and huge!) Jabba’s Sail Barge through HasLab, so it would make total sense that the next project could be a scaled Sarlacc Pit to display next to it!

“In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over a thousand years.”

Did that quote ever bother anyone else? I mean, you probably die of starvation or dehydration way before that, right? Or does it keep you fed and alive the whole time? Sounds like a lot of work. Anyway…

The last time the Sarlacc Pit came out in toy form was in 2008, as part of a Battle Pack called ‘Battle at the Sarlacc Pit’ (ingenious, huh?), from the Legacy Collection line, so it is long overdue!

*do not make any sex toy joke… do not make any sex toy joke…*

ToyFarce can already imagine what the different rewards unlocked after reaching each goals could be!

UNLOCK 1: SAND!

Bags of sand provided, so your diorama can even look more realistic! Authentic sand from Tatooine (Tunisia/Yuma)!

UNLOCK 2: A BOBA FETT “SNACK” FOR YOUR SARLACC

It goes without saying that the Sarlacc might be hungry after travelling to your home, so it’s nice to know that it would come up with a snack!

UNLOCK 3: ANATOMY POSTER!

For the people who always wondered what a full Sarlacc looks like but never dared to look: We got you covered!

UNLOCK 4: THE FULL GODDAMN THING!

If the project reaches a certain amount, HasLab should go ahead and just do the entire Sarlacc, instead of just stopping at the mouth. You already have bags of sand from the 1st unlock, so you can bury most of it in it, and you will know that the entire thing is there. Look at it, it’s so cute!! I wish I had a Sarlacc plushie…

Will they ever make it ? Well, we don’t know. The closest thing that is available for us is a series of stickers/decals that can be installed in your toilet bowl, but the things falling in it are completely different than a Boba Fett figure… (Also, we do not advise dumping a Boba Fett figure in there!).

We’ll see what the future holds for us in HasLab as soon as they have an idea. Oh, and to HasLab: I am available for consulting if you need more ideas!

More news at 11:00… slowly digested over a thousand years!

#toyfarce #hasbro #hasbropulse #haslab #starwars #returnofthejedi #starwarsthevintagecollection #sarlaccpit #sarlacc #socute #bobafett #actionfigures #toys #collectibles #toycollector #toycommunity #toycollection #humor #satire #parody

SMALL SOLDIERS... WAS (ALLEGEDLY) FAKE ?!

BREAKING NEWS:

SMALL SOLDIERS... WAS (ALLEGEDLY) FAKE ?!

ToyFarce News is first to report a thing that will shake Hollywood to its core: It turns out the 1998 hit movie "Small Soldiers" was completely fake and used special effects and puppets to move the action figures !!

In the movie, a toy manufacturer uses missile technology to enhance their action figures, and the action figures end up in a real life battle. 2 different types of figures: the Gorgonites, friendly mutants led by Archer, and the ruthless Commando Elite, under the orders of Major Chip Hazard.

The movie was so well done that it seemed obvious that is was real, but a huge Hollywood leak has now revealed that the action figures from the movie were never real, and were in fact, special effects.

In that leaked picture, we can see that the figures were actually puppets, and needed wires and all sort of metal bars in order to be animated. We've heard that Stan Winston was involved, which is why the special effects seemed so real.

Furthermore, we have also heard that the voices that we heard in the movie were provided by actual actors, in order to fool us even more. The voice of Archer was provided by Frank Langella, the actor famous for his role as Skeletor in 'The Masters of the Universe', and Chip Hazard's voice was the voice of Tommy Lee Jones, who played Two Face in 'Batman Forever'.

To ToyFarce News, this seems like a bigger conspiracy theory than the moon landing being fake or the earth being flat. This is unconceivable that this movie was made using CGI or puppets. Complete nonsense. How do you explains that the toys were available at every toy stores when the movie came out? Are those fake too?

ToyFarce News will get to the bottom of this and will let you know the truth, when it comes out!

More news at 11:00... "We're not toys, we're action figures!"

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MR POTATO HEAD DENIES PLASTIC SURGERY ?!

BREAKING NEWS:

MR. POTATO HEAD DENIES PLASTIC SURGERY ?!

ToyFarce News does not usually like to give attention to reports about celebrities and their private lives, but the latest developments on this subject have led us to break our silence. 

Known for his role in the Toy Story movie franchise, and also our childhood, Mr. Potato Head has always been an important figure in the toy world. Everybody knows Mr. Potato Head. But it seems that some remember him with a very different...potato head! If you look at this comparison picture, one could clearly say that his appearance has indeed changed over the last 60 years...

Over the weekend, Hasbro representatives of Mr. Potato Head have been refuting the accusations that their client has had extensive plastic surgery over the past few decades. Even Mr. Potato Head's closest friends and fans have expressed doubt about that statement: "Even just in Toy Story, you can clearly see that his face and the texture of his skin have changed from one movie to the other. That man is addicted to plastic surgery, or there isn't a snake in my boot!" said one of his co-stars who wished to remain anonymous. 

ToyFarce News will keep you informed as the story develops. 

More news at 11:00...

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TIRED OF PLASTIC TURNING YELLOW? TOYFARCE NEWS HAS THE SOLUTION FOR YOU!

SPONSORED NEWS:

TIRED OF PLASTIC TURNING YELLOW? TOYFARCE NEWS HAS THE SOLUTION FOR YOU!

Introducing our first product, the ToyFarce News De-Yellowing Glasses™! Say goodbye to those yellowing stains on your vintage figures. Say goodbye to the UV damage done to your precious collectibles by the sun. With  ToyFarce News De-Yellowing Glasses™, your figures will be bright white again !

A lot of collectors over the years have complained about plastic yellowing. It is an issue that all of us have to go through at some point. Now, thanks to the ToyFarce News De-Yellowing Glasses™, no collector will ever have to suffer through this again.

All you have to do is wear your ToyFarce News De-Yellowing Glasses™ while looking at your collection, and the yellow will just fade away. See for yourself in those comparison 'Before/After' pictures, using the ToyFarce News De-Yellowing Glasses™ technology.

As you can see, the results are spot-on. The figures and blisters whose plastic had turn yellow look brand new again. Be ready to see your vintage action figures in the colors they were truly meant to be, with ToyFarce News De-Yellowing Glasses™ !

Our special offer: if you order 2 pairs of ToyFarce News De-Yellowing Glasses™ before 23:59 on April 1st, you will also receive our second product that has yet to be announced, the very special ToyFarce News Re-Carding-Figures Glue Kit™ (patent pending), which will enable you to re-glue the plastic bubbles to the blister cards of your favorite figures, and make it look like it had never been opened !

More news at 11:00...
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HE-MAN TESTED POSITIVE FOR THE CORONAVIRUS, NOW IN QUARANTINE

BREAKING NEWS:

HE-MAN TESTED POSITIVE FOR THE CORONAVIRUS, NOW IN QUARANTINE

It is a sad day in Eternia. Late last night, He-Man made a public announcement to confess that he had tester positive for Covid-19, and will now be quarantined for a few weeks.

It is common knowledge that the most powerful man in the universe get into close combat with his adversaries, and he must have been exposed to the virus during his latest fight with Beast-man or any other of Skeletor's henchmen. It is unknown at this moment if anybody in Snake Mountain has been tested, but we can assume that they will not get tested and probably try to continue spreading it, due to them being evil.

In a surprising turn of events, it was later revealed that Prince Adam of Eternia, the son of King Randor and Queen Marlena, also tested positive for the Coronavirus, which confirms what everyone expected: He-Man and Prince Adam really are close friends. We were told that Orko is working on a cure for Covid-19, but there is timeline was provided to us as to when we can expect it.

ToyFarce News wishes them a speedy recovery, and hopes that everyone stays safe and healthy in those uncertain times. Also, wash your hands.

More news at 11:00...
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