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Fresh and exclusive (parody/satire) news about the world of toys and collectibles. News, reviews, home of #ToyMemesTuesday.
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JNCO MAKING A COMEBACK, SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR HASLAB SENTINEL AS A POCKET FIG!
The first part is not even a joke: JNCO are really trying to reintroduce themselves to the world, and want us to shop “groundbreaking wide-leg denim and streetwear that’s unapologetically you”.
BREAKING NEWS:
JNCO MAKING A COMEBACK, SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR HASLAB SENTINEL AS A POCKET FIG!
Last week, an ex-student from a fashion/design school from New York, working for PWM industry (@playing_with_myself) revealed during an appearance in @highschoolcreations ‘Diorama Talk’ live show that JNCO were planning to make a comeback. It was mentioned that due to the size of the Haslab Sentinel, people might need bigger pockets if they want to have their Sentinel as a pocket fig, and JNCO heard that call. The first part is not even a joke: JNCO are really trying to reintroduce themselves to the world, and want us to shop “groundbreaking wide-leg denim and streetwear that’s unapologetically you”.
This is an actual Facebook ad. This is not a drill.
“Collectible items”. Damn, they really know how to make us want those, right? They’re collectibles!
This is an actual tweet from 2019, so it looks like it’s not their first attempt at a comeback…
LOOK AT THOSE SEX-HAVERS!
Thanks to the cheer size of those pants and pockets, you can now bring your Sentinel along anywhere you go as a pocket fig, whether it is at home, in a park, at work (provided you still have a job after they saw you wear those pants), etc…
It’s called ‘Fashion’, look it up!
“Wheeeeee!”
(I wonder what that guy is up to nowadays… is the professional reconversion easy after being a JNCO model?)
ToyFarce would like to thank Adam, from PMW industry for the reveal (you thought I didn’t hear you, didn’t you?).
More news at 11:00… “Challenge conventionalism. Explore the unfamiliar. Honor individuality.”
#toyfarce #hasbro #haslab #sentinel #xmen #mutants #jnco #jeans #denim #actionfigures #toys #collectibles #toycollector #toycommunity #toycollection #humor #satire #parody
MUTANT FIGURES FEELING A BIT UNEASY SINCE ARRIVAL OF THE HASLAB SENTINEL!
“There goes the neighborhood” said C. Xavier, a resident from your collection.
BREAKING NEWS:
MUTANT FIGURES FEELING A BIT UNEASY SINCE ARRIVAL OF THE HASLAB SENTINEL!
“There goes the neighborhood” said C. Xavier, a resident from your collection.
The Sentinels are starting to pop up in some collections, and there has been some unrest among the mutant action figures community. ToyFarce interviewed a few representatives of the X-Men about the situation.
You could cut the tension with an adamantium claw…
“We had a great thing going on here”, said Iceman, a long time resident of the mutant shelf. “People had entire shelves dedicated to mutants, with kick-ass displays, and we could really shine. We knew that things might change when they first announced the Haslab Sentinel, but we didn’t know how much it would change.”
The Haslab Sentinel, happily strutting in your collection
Maverick told ToyFarce “We had the best of times. We had our own shelves, but now we’ll have to share it with one of *those*… We’ve seen people displaying the Sentinel fighting mutants on their displays, so now, I guess we’ll have to be in fighting poses, after years of being displayed all together… It’s just not the same… We might have to move to another shelf. Maybe the Avengers one?”
The awesome mutant shelves pictures were provided by the amazing @custombymatchu
We hope we won’t get another Marvel / DC figures situation, where the DC figures had to be moved to a different shelf. We’ll keep you informed as things develop! If anything, we can only give one advice to the mutants in your collection…”GO FOR THE KNEES!”
More news at 11:00… “TARGETS IDENTIFIED. MUTANTS. SURRENDER OR DIE.”
#toyfarce #hasbro #hasbropulse #haslab #marvel #marvellegends #xmen #sentinel #mutants #actionfigures #toys #collectibles #toycollector #toycommunity #toycollection #humor #satire #parody
SCALPERS INC. WE GO ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR YOU!
At SCALPERS INC., we will go ABOVE and BEYOND for you to find those action figures and toys that you really want!
BREAKING NEWS:
SCALPERS INC. WE GO ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR YOU!
Promotional consideration, paid for by the following:
“Scalpers”. “Flippers”. “Resellers”. We have heard them all. Everybody seems to have a very negative opinion of us. This is why SCALPERS INC. will try to fix that!
At SCALPERS INC., we will go ABOVE and BEYOND for you to find those action figures and toys that you really want:
ABOVE the price labelled at retail, and
BEYOND the price any normal person would pay for it.
Trust us, we will make you appreciate what we do for you. It’s not like you have a choice, anyway… The shelves at your local stores will still be empty! We only ask for that “time and energy” tax. (“Time and energy” tax explained in a previous ToyFarce article: https://www.toyfarce.com/news//2020/08/time-and-energy-new-tax-from-unassumed.html )
**ToyFarce does not share the opinions expressed by SCALPERS INC. It looks like there was a glitch in the ad campaign app, and they managed to take advantage of that. Our apologies! Now back to regular programming…
More news at 11:00… do not support the S.C.A.L.P.!
#toyfarce #scalpers #flippers #resellers #scalpersinc #neca #hasbro #mcfarlanetoys #jazwares #gijoe #transformers #aewunrivaled #starwars #spawn #starwarsblackseries #marvellegends #actionfigures #toys #collectibles #toycollector #toycommunity #toycollection #humor #satire #parody
LIFE HACKS: WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR HASLAB SENTINEL BOX?
The Haslab Sentinels have started to show up at people’s doors, and with them comes an enormous box (and shipper box!).
BREAKING NEWS:
LIFE HACKS: WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR HASLAB SENTINEL BOX?
The Haslab Sentinels have started to show up at people’s doors, and with them comes an enormous box (and shipper box!). While most people will probably either recycle the cardboard box or display the figure inside of it (MIB collectors), some collectors may be wondering “what to do with that gigantic Haslab Sentinel box?”. Here are a few ideas for you!
AN AWESOME DOG HOUSE/CAT FORT!
Don’t be fooled by the depressed look on that puppy, he’s actually very ecstatic about getting to live inside a Haslab Sentinel box!
The other cats from your neighborhood will be 100% jealous when they see your cat’s fort!
SOMETHING FOR THE KIDS!
Turn your Haslab Sentinel box into a wonderful speedy car! All you have to do is count on your kid’s imagination, and he’ll be racing in his brand new car in no time!
A car? How about an entire summer cottage? If you ordered more than one Sentinel, you can build an entire playhouse, which your kids will absolutely love!
FOR A PERSON!
Do you have annoying friends? Just put them in the box and ship them somewhere far, so you don’t have to deal with their crappy personality anymore!
Help the ones in need! Donate your Haslab Sentinel box to a homeless person so that they can feel like they live in a penthouse. You’ll feel good about doing something nice! (Also works for yourself, if your wife kicked you out after your 5 Sentinels arrived)
If you have more than 5 Haslab Sentinels, you can even build a small apartment, and rent it, to make that Haslab money back!
More news at 11:00… Just wait until you see the Galactus box!
#toyfarce #hasbro #hasbropulse #haslab #marvel #marvelcomics #marvellegends #sentinel #xmen #lifehacks #artsandcrafts #cardboardbox #galactus #fantasticfour #actionfigures #toys #collectibles #toycollector #toycommunity #toycollection #humor #satire #parody
SCARED OF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S REACTION WHEN A 30 LBS SENTINEL BOX SHOWS UP AT YOUR HOUSE? WE HAVE YOUR BACK!
The Sentinels are coming! The Sentinels are coming, guys!
BREAKING NEWS:
SCARED OF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S REACTION WHEN A 30 LBS SENTINEL BOX SHOWS UP AT YOUR HOUSE? WE HAVE YOUR BACK!
The Sentinels are coming! The Sentinels are coming, guys! This week, lots of collectors have started to receive notifications from FedEx about a certain shipment coming from Hasbro!
Read that again… “Weight: 30 lbs / 13.61 kgs”. Oooof…
While some collectors clearly have no clue what 30 lbs would feel like and are already asking for help from their relatives to pick it up (true story), others started to fear the reactions of their significant others when that huge, heavy box would show up at their door.
WORRY NOT! ToyFarce and The Sonny Channel have your back! Pick one of the following options for an easy, guilt-free reception of your Haslab Sentinel, with no questions asked!
PRINT THIS:
Print this and slap it on the box when it shows up!
WATCH THIS VIDEO:
SEND US AN EMAIL:
Send an email to Toyfarce@hotmail.com, with the title “Sentinel Giveaway” including your name or username, and we will send you an email congratulating you for winning the Haslab Sentinel in a totally legit giveaway contest! That way, you’ll have an “official” proof that you won it:
Here’s what the email will look like
Thanks again to @sonnyplayswithtoys for another brilliant idea!
More news at 11:00… and don’t ever say we never do anything for you!
#toyfarce #thesonnychannel #hasbro #hasbropulse #haslab #marvel #marvellegends #sentinel #giveaway #actionfigures #toys #collectibles #toycollector #toycommunity #toycollecting #humor #satire #parody