“NO MOVIE SPOILERS!” SAYS COLLECTOR WHO WILL WATCH 14 UNBOXING/REVIEW VIDEOS OF A TOY HE WILL GET IN 2 DAYS!

BREAKING NEWS:

“NO MOVIE SPOILERS!” SAYS COLLECTOR WHO WILL WATCH 14 UNBOXING/REVIEW VIDEOS OF A TOY HE WILL GET IN 2 DAYS!

“SPOILERS! PLEASE DELETE THIS!”

Spoilers. In our modern world, spoilers are sometimes inevitable. If you love a show or a movie, and don’t get a chance to see it within the first few hours it came out, some butthole might post something about it on social media, and, even if you’re super careful about it, you might end up seeing it and being spoiled anyway (For example, my Star Wars collecting dad who sent me a text message saying “wtf, they killed Han!” while I was literally on my way to see The Force Awakens, after staying off any social media the whole day, a few years ago).

At the same time, it seems to always be a race to be the first to post pictures of reveals, or brand new action figures, regardless of if it will spoil the related show or movie. What’s up with that? Toyfarce investigated.

“If I want to see a movie, I try to avoid spoilers as much as I can. I don’t even watch the trailers sometimes. I want to have the best experience, not knowing what it is going to look like, have all the excitement of seeing it for the first time and be surprised” said a passionate collector to ToyFarce.

“Then, how about having that best experience, not knowing what it is going to look like, having all the excitement of seeing it for the first time and being surprised when you get a new toy?

- Oh, that? No, usually, I’ve checked ShartimusPrime, TheFwoosh, ToyShiz, PixelDan, ToyBro, Adventures in Collecting, Unparalleled Universe, DanWho, AnthonysCustoms, … and several other unboxing and review videos of the figure days before I get it. I want to know what I get, and have an opinion on it already, before my hands even touch it.

-Isn’t that contradictory?

- …” (After a few seconds of silence, the call was ended. We were not able to contact him again.)

In a nutshell, spoilers for toys: good, and spoilers for movies/shows: bad.

More news at 11:00… Spoiler alert!

#toyfarce #spoilers #spoiler #unboxing #reviews #toyreviews #actionfigures #toys #collectibles #toycollector #toycommunity #toycollection #humor #satire #parody

REVIEWERS: A YOUTUBE STORY!

BREAKING NEWS:

REVIEWERS: A YOUTUBE STORY!

ToyFarce had the honor to sit down with a famous toy reviewer to discuss about everything YouTube, the trends, the grind, etc.:

“First, you need a great intro. ‘Hey guys, this is x and welcome to my show where I do this and that, and blahblah’, an intro that you will repeat every single time, that your guests will have to sit through and that your followers will know by heart. For most toy youtubers, it all starts with reviews. A lot of reviewers make the mistake of doing their review in front of a very white, sterile background, with oversaturated lights, in a lightbox like so many already do. By doing that, unfortunately, you show the entire world that you have no personality. It’s better to have a color as a background, but you have to pick it right! Fwoosh has blue, ToyBro has orange, Unparalleled Universe has purple… you need to pick a color that hasn’t been picked yet! How about Magenta, cyan, or navy blue?”

You get 100,000 more views if you have the right thumbnail!

“It’s important that you review everything that you can get your hands on, because you’re an influencer now, and there are people that are waiting for your opinion on a figure before buying it, so you can’t make them wait! Bonus points if you don’t even know the franchise but still review the figures: Your passion for everything you loved will end up fading away anyway, so review things you don’t have any feelings for early on!”.

Hear me talk 19 minutes about a picture you have already seen!

“After a while, when you’ve got enough of a following, you can do other things than reviews, like previews! When a brand announces something and post a promo picture, you can then make a 19 minute video where you talk about that promo picture. Obviously, you do not have more info about it than your followers, but you need to speculate and make up stuff as much as you can, so that people get excited about that picture! You can also do “hit or miss”, “dope or nope”, “crack or wack” or any variation of it, where you just tell people if a figure is good or bad, in a completely subjective manner.”

“And now a word from our sponsor, Manscaped Legends VPN!… (ToyFarce skipped that part of the interview, like we all usually do).

Reaction videos, a trend from the last few years.

“When you have no content, it is important to still fill the room with noise, so don’t hesitate to post as many Top 5, Top 10, Top 12 as possible, unnecessarily long hauls, along with ‘Collection room tours’. You can even shoot multiple room tours during the same day, you just have to hide a couple of figures from your display, film your tour, then put the figures back and film another tour! It’s common knowledge that everybody wants to watch 25min videos of someone else’s home. Remember MTV Cribs? Show your followers your collection room. It’s where the magic happens!”

Watch me look at my screen and reply to comments without reading them for hours! Zero replayability value afterwards, but you’ll be glad you were there! I will say your name!

“Finally, when you have reached that top tier level, you can get to the fun part: 8 hours long live shows! This is your time to shine. People will queue to see you talk and hear you read their username. On that note, shoutout to ToyFarce for that interview! And don’t forget to superkick that like button, leave a comment and subscribe to my channel, and click on the bell to enable notifications!”

DISCLAIMER: Satire. ToyFarce loves reviewers, follows and even chats with several reviewers and members of the toy community. ToyFarce only pokes fun at things that we love. Any resemblance to an actual reviewer in particular would be pure coincidence…maybe?

#toyfarce #youtube #toyreview #toyreviewer #youtuber #actionfigures #toys #collectibles #toycollector #toycommunity #toycollection #humor #satire #parody